Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts

Thursday, September 25, 2014

September 25th, 2014 Never Beyond Such A Detour

September 25th, 2014 Never Beyond Such A Detour

When I share a post like yesterday's and I get into recalling where I was, it leaves me feeling vulnerable, uneasy--like maybe I shouldn't have shared so much. It took me the better part of the day to get over myself and be okay with yesterday's content. Being straight up real can feel this way at times and it's okay, because it's important for me to never forget how far I took the descent into relapse and most important, it's critical for me to believe I'm never beyond such a detour. If I'm to have the best chance at continued recovery, weight loss and long term maintenance, I must continue to hold sacred the critical elements of my recovery. I also want to express hope for anyone who can relate: Recovery--stopping the regain--getting your life back: It is not impossible, it's not hopeless. It's real and is very much within your reach.

Today's schedule was tough. I was busy all day--and planned to go to the OSU-Texas Tech game--in fact, I agreed to be the designated driver for this Thursday night ESPN game in my hometown, and I did drive but I gave up my ticket and decided to spend the evening with mom and getting my workout done instead of going to the game.

It's super late, I'm horribly exhausted and I must drop in bed. I had a great visit with mom tonight! We dined at Applebee's and I worked out over by her place, doing a brisk walk around her neighborhood. Getting to the stadium for the pickup and the drive home came a little quicker than I expected, so I had to cut my exercise short. Still, it was an effort. And considering the pace of today's schedule, I'm counting it as good.

There's so much more I wanted to write about, but I'll do the best thing and hit the pillow instead.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

September 24th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

September 24th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

I was terrified. At the height of my regain, flirting once again with 400 pounds, I was worried that my body somehow wouldn't lose weight again. I felt trapped in a brutal cycle of addiction and the resulting weight gain. And I seemed to gain so easily, it really made me wonder if my body could/would respond in the other direction if I gave it an honest effort. I was in "hiding" in many ways, masked with this persona as "the choosing change guy," yet completely lost, a million miles from the mental, emotional and physical dynamics I once embraced during my initial 275 pound weight loss. The only change I was choosing was the kind quickly destroying me.

I weighed at my doctors office on April 9th and was horrified by the number 394. I was six pounds away from hitting 400 again. The number depressed me even further. I didn't share my struggles with anyone and those around me everyday could see what was happening--but didn't bring it up very often--and when they did, I would put on a smile and say, "I'm on it!" I wasn't on it.  I didn't reach out for support or help of any kind, except for a desperate email to Dr. Marty Lerner in Florida inquiring about the cost of an inpatient 30 day stay for food addiction recovery. I was really scared because it seemed that no matter what I did, I couldn't get it right again. I would do well a day or two, then crash and burn--only to spend another week or so off the rails until another burst of inspiration struck.

The worst part for me, was knowing how people found inspiration in my experience, and now I wasn't only letting myself down, in my mind I was letting down everyone who had ever sent an email or left a comment expressing their gratitude for my sharing and how it had helped them. That was very tough. I truly wanted to disappear, delete the blog from the internet, close down my facebook--and just fade away into the distance. I still had the ability to encourage others in a positive way--even mentoring some, with positive results I might add!! But the more I did, the more I felt like a fraud. If they only knew where I was in this moment, the thought frightened me to no end. And all of this negative energy only made matters worse.

I was sitting in the Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store drive through on April 10th, a day after the 394 weigh-in, picking up another large shake and who knows what else, when I checked my email and found this:

Hello sean
I hope you still pick up your emails on this account.
I picked up your blog on day 1 and I have not put it down since. I'm currently on day 142. I have followed your methods every step of the way and I'm achieving some fantastic results.
The main thing I wanted to email you about was to say
Thank you for saving my life

All the way from the UK
Nick

I didn't enjoy the shake after this email message. "Thank you for saving my life" Who, me?? If Nick only knew where I was and what I was doing in this moment, he would have been shocked. I was slowly killing myself by food, desperate to save my own life and worried I didn't know how this time.

I couldn't get Nick's email out of my head. I was at a pivotal point. I had reached out in blog posts prior, trying to share how desperate I had become and vowing to turn it all around--and still, I couldn't seem to make anything work or stick. I prayed, I meditated and I discussed some options with my therapist and with Life Coach Gerri. 

It was concluded that if I was to get back into a groove of good, I had to do things differently. What worked for me before wasn't enough. I needed a higher level of accountability, I needed to return to daily writing on this blog and I needed to weigh and measure my food. I quickly decided to tweet every bite of food, everyday, as an "extreme" accountability measure. The Twitter decision was a tough one--because the addict side of me was screaming NO!!!!! While the side of me trying to save me from myself was saying, OH YES!! Giving up sugar and committing to the Twitter feed has, without a doubt, been two of the best decisions I've made. Blogging again--everyday, without fail, has been paramount to stopping the regain and turning around what I thought was beyond hope.

Nick in the UK, thank you for saving my life!

------------------------------------------------------
Weigh day, no matter how well I've been doing, is always a source of some anxiety. Not as much these days because I've adopted a "it will be what it is" type attitude. Clearly, this attitude has yet to be tested. I hopped on the scale today and found:
photo photo30_zpsa005aa32.jpg
This represents an 11 pound loss, bringing the total to 89 pounds in the last 22 weeks. It's been a dramatic turnaround to say the least.

I do know a slow down is coming and my "it will be what it is" attitude will be tested someday soon. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that all hope wasn't lost and my body was and continues to be capable of losing weight, as long as I'm applying an honest effort and doing the best I can each day. It's never perfect and it doesn't need to be--I'm being consistent, being honest, kind and compassionate toward myself and I'm getting results. I'm a very fortunate person.

My weigh days since "394 day" on April 9th:
photo 809393cb-c2a8-4d02-872f-b2d621de70dd_zps14b4e84d.png

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, June 7, 2014

June 7th, 2014 Not Leaving Things To Chance

June 7th, 2014 Not Leaving Things To Chance

I had an 11am-2pm broadcast at an auto dealership today. The owner of the dealership bought his staff lunch and extended the offer my way. Having brought my own, I declined. The free food opportunities have been numerous lately. I suppose it's that time of year. When everyone else started eating, I grabbed mine too. One of the sales associates noticed my lunch, walked over and said, "You're really serious about eating better, huh?" I replied, "It is one of my highest priorities, very important."

I'm not leaving things to chance. When a situation comes along (and it will) where I'm not prepared and find myself looking at a menu, I'm confident I'll navigate my order well. I've made it important to minimize those situations.  I enjoy cooking, pure and simple. I never use recipes, I just jump in and throw things together, hoping for the best. I'm thankful for my natural culinary skills.

Having a Twitter account dedicated to tweeting pictures and calorie counts of everything I eat has been an unexpected blessing. It has slowed me down nicely and inspired me to take care in preparing and enjoying what I eat. I plan better too. And once I get an idea in my head, it's tough to change it. I've declined a couple of dinner invitations because, "I'm sorry, I already have dinner plans." I leave out the part about it being dinner for one at my place. I truly, for the first time in my life, actually enjoy spending time alone. This is a very recent development. Since the epiphanies of May 15th, I feel different in a wonderful way.

Never before has an epiphany had this powerful of an impact on me and everything I am, do, think, feel and say. It's inspired me to take better care. It's a beautiful thing.  If you haven't read the May 15th post, you can find it here.  Also check out a post from a few days later titled "The Secret To Happiness."

I had planned on a YMCA trip today before I discovered they close at 6pm on Saturday. I thought it was 7pm. I think it was at one point. Instead, I opted for a late night walk. It was shorter than normal because I'm a little tired today. My sleep has drastically improved but still, my schedule has been relentless lately and I think it's catching up to me.

I'm out of mind crazy excited about weigh day on Wednesday the 11th. I can feel and see the difference in fairly significant ways. My efforts are rewarding me and that feels fantastic.

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, June 2, 2014

June 2nd, 2014 Free From All That Noise

June 2nd, 2014 Free From All That Noise

I managed to get to work this morning after a short three hours sleep. I could have pushed it an extra thirty minutes, but I knew if I did I wouldn't have time to prepare breakfast. This whole thing of taking time to take better care is something fairly new, at least on this level.  Not preparing breakfast isn't an option I'm allowing. I can remember several times in a similar situation where I would navigate the choices in a drive through as best I could or run into a convenience store foraging for something I could feel good about. I have those skills should I ever need to employ them in an emergency. It wasn't an emergency this morning.

I headed home after my show for a nap before returning in the afternoon. I prepared a fantastic lunch using a Joseph's 60 calorie pita, a turkey burger, mozzarella and some all natural sweet potato fries. I've started using the George Foreman grill at work and at home to "dry grill" sandwiches--or in the case of today's lunch, the pita. The results have been fantastic. No added calories while transforming it into a different experience, so good!

I found out that Monday afternoons around 5:30pm is the busiest time for a workout at the YMCA. I was lucky to find one machine open on the row and type I prefer. I'm still able to walk in there without even the slightest hesitation or negative feeling. I hold my head high, slip in my ear buds, turn on my music and I'm gone to another world where I can do anything.  I saw several people there whom I haven't seen in some time. Still--no feelings of shame or embarrassment. That breakthrough Y trip a while back literally set me free from all that noise.

I made a small grocery trip this evening. I don't like big grocery trips. I like small-focused trips. That's what this was tonight.  I enjoyed some whole wheat pasta, just to try something different. It's been in my cupboard a while. I usually avoid pasta, but in this case, I carefully measured all ingredients--so I was confident in what I was eating. I topped it with an all natural sugar free marinara with 2oz of lean ground beef.  A side of baked mushroom cap with marinara and mozzarella and some pineapple rounded out this interesting meal.

I've reached a point where I'm calming down and taking a very nice one day at a time approach.  Am I excited for the road ahead?? Oh yeah. Very. But I'm keeping my feet on the ground and maintaining the steps important to my recovery.

I welcome you to friend me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/seananderson505) and MyFitnessPal (myfitnesspal.com/seanaanderson) and of course my live-tweet Twitter account where I share pictures and calorie counts of every single thing I eat, everyday.

Speaking of, it's about time for my #lastfoodofday!

Life Coach Gerri Helms and I will kick off our next six week session of teleconference group support tomorrow night at 7 Central/8 Eastern/6 Mountain/5 Pacific. The group includes the weekly conference call, individual one-on-one attention, a private facebook group, plus email/text and call support when needed. It's truly a bargain at $60 for six weeks. If you have defined your goal for the next 6 weeks, let's get together in this group and create some outstanding additional support.
If you're interested in this awesome group, click this link: http://lifecoachgerri.com/events/your-missing-piece/ Due to technical limitations within our conference call service, this group is only available for people in the US and Canada.

Thank you for reading and your support!

My best,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, May 24, 2014

May 24th, 2014 Taking Extraordinary Care

May 24th, 2014 Taking Extraordinary Care

This has been a very long day. I'm so relieved it's over!  I knew in order for me to accomplish everything I needed to accomplish today, it would take sticking to a plan. This is the kind of day I could have easily said, oh well, it's one day...but I didn't and I'm reaping the positive feelings that come with a plan well executed. And I did it all without getting electrocuted. I'll explain in a few.

The positive momentum has been building and now it's important for me to not get too excited.  I must relax into the groove of this momentum and remember to take it one day at a time. I still make a point to visualize my success each day. Sometimes it's very tempting to get ahead of myself, I certainly know I did during my initial transformation.  But this is what happens when you're feeling great.  Suddenly, you're thinking about all of your future possibilities. And it's about so much more than weight loss. This excitement within me is about everything under the sun. Never before has an epiphany effected me in such a profound way, as the ones discussed in the May 15th and May 17th posts.  I've been blessed with several since starting this journey in 2008 and some of them have made a huge impact...but this one, wow...all of the others are awesome, but they pale in comparison.

In the last week I've given much thought to my next book. I'm not quite ready to write it, I still have more to experience-more to learn, but I certainly have been considering the message.  Again, getting ahead of myself.  I think, "The Other Side of The Scale--Now What?" is a good working title...Okay--see? Ahead of myself, right. The most important things for me right now are to take the best care of me I can and continue to develop organically, in positive ways.

I hit the elliptical at the YMCA this afternoon ahead of my big wedding night dj experience. I'm having fun at the Y and it shows in my attitude and intensity of the workout. Walking in there with this new perspective has been an amazing blessing. Walking at the trail would have worked wonderfully and I could have continued to avoid the Y because of all of the irrational fears I was carrying. I'm so glad I let it go. Just let it go. Dropped them and made my way in. It was a great move.

The 60% chance of rain tonight quickly turned into a 100% chance of heavy thundershowers. And it did at the same time I was set to load in and set up my equipment for a wedding.  I was using an open pickup truck to transport and when it started to come down in sheets with big cloud to ground lightening strikes, I had to move quickly to get the equipment someplace dry.  As I started unloading as quickly as possible, the rain and lightening started coming heavier and heavier. It was a complete washout.  Every part of me was soaked, down to my unmentionables. I looked and felt like I had jumped in a pool fully clothed.  Most of the tents for this outdoor event were blown down (including the tent assigned to my setup), some looked destroyed. The photographer's portable photo booth was a complete loss. Good thing it was a big home with an extra large covered patio. That's where we eventually set up most everything. The first song I played was Luke Bryan's "Rain Is A Good Thing," they didn't fire me for the obvious joke and we were off and running to what turned out to be a fantastic event despite the rough start. I mean really, we do need the rain.

I packed a dinner that resembled a lunch, with a sandwich and three kinds of fruit. After discovering what elaborate catering means for 250 people, I could have easily navigated the selections and stayed on plan. But I didn't know that going into this night.  Taking the time to plan my food for this event is about more than the food. It's about making me and my needs important. Taking the best care of me, in this case meant packing dinner. The caterer approached me at one point to ask "what's that on your plate?"  It was my smoked ham and swiss on a 100 calorie multi-grain sandwich thin. She seemed a little taken aback. Probably not too many people bring their own food to a wedding reception. The wedding planner set up the cake table right next to me. I haven't laid eyes on so many beautiful cakes in all my life. But that was the only attention I gave the cake table. Enough to acknowledge the obvious quality and quantity, but not even the first thought of consuming the sugar.

I can't deny the obvious benefits from cutting out 99% of sugar from my daily intake. It's meant no binges or urges to binge, at all. And that's nothing short of miraculous for me. Sugar is listed as an ingredient in the non-dairy powdered coffee creamer I use every morning--but other than that, and the recent "sugar in my marinara" discovery, I've been nearly sugar free for well over a month now. The amount of sugar in the creamer must be minuscule because it hasn't bothered me at all.

In last night's post I mentioned being insecure in my abilities as a mobile dj. It's completely different than what I do as a radio personality. The thing is, the title of "dj" is often applied to both--so the line gets blurred. I'm happy to report it went very well, nothing like I feared. It was fun!

It's another late night for me. My #lastfoodofday was a simple egg white omelet with a few mushrooms and a slice of mozzarella for 109 calories. The #lastfoodofday hashtag on my Twitter page has acted as a book-end for me. When I use it, that's it, I'm done for the day. Feel free to use it too!

I'm sleeping in tomorrow morning. Or, I guess I should say, this morning.

Thank you for reading!
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

What It's Like

What It's Like

I'm very happy to be back. I'm contributing to this blog, maintaining a calorie budget and staying fairly active with Facebook and Twitter. I'm logging food, exercise and water consumption everyday on My Fitness Pal. I'm also staying closely connected to friends far and near, staying accountable and reaching out via text whenever a counterproductive food thought passes through my brain. Oh yeah, Gerri Helms has taught me, the best way to shut those crazy obsessive food thoughts down is to tell on 'em to someone, anyone. I'm getting more and more in touch with my own personal spirituality throughout this process. I'm realizing the truth, and that is: This isn't a solo battle. I'm not alone. You're here. I'm here. We're all here and we're doing this thing. And this thing is worth every ounce of effort. It's about life and freedom, clarity and peace. And it's about love and taking personal care. Choosing change is about all of these things and more. It's not effortless. It's work. But it's good work. It's not always fair, but some things just aren't and that's okay.

I'm wholly committed, my friend. And it feels phenomenal. It does because it wasn't that long ago when I wondered if it was even remotely possible to feel this way again. I was at the point of completely giving up. Struggling harder than I ever imagined possible, isolating in a place full of shame, guilt and regret...filling up on self-pity, self loathing and a general disgust--completely choosing a perspective void of even a shred of hope. And still occasionally trying to get it together only to fall again and again. As the weight gain continued, old issues started resurfacing.

I haven't shared this with anyone, but why not? A couple of months ago I sat on the edge of my bed and noticed a scab on my lower right leg. The weight gain had brought back swelling and since the skin on my lower right leg is forever damaged from my 500 pound days, it doesn't take much abuse for a tear to happen.  And there it was. The first sign of something horrific returning.  I'll never forget the pain of having a dozen or more sores after the constant swelling would rip my skin apart. I never want to get to that place ever again...but here it was, the start...and there I was feeling hopelessly doomed, almost attracted to the decline as if it had some insanely strong gravitational pull. What other freedoms will I lose?  How could this be happening?? Why????

 All kinds of questions pelted me during this decline: What did I learn while losing 275 pounds?  And why did the strength I felt back then feel a million miles away? It was like being fluent in a language and suddenly losing even the most basic elements of communication. Was I really going to work that hard, get to a healthy body weight, work through emotions and get to a place where I was healthier than ever...and then turn around and go the other way???  Did I somehow subconsciously decide I wasn't worthy?   

 Oooh... That's it, isn't it? I didn't deserve it. Okay, wow. That's heavy stuff. I wasn't worthy. How did I reach that ridiculous conclusion?

I suppose it happens over time. It's like we have a constant checks and balances happening with our perception of the good and the bad of our life. Every negatively perceived thing makes a mark, an impression, a scarring on our brain and then it sits and waits for other negative things to join in and these things grow.  Most of the time these negative perceptions aren't even our fault, but in a desperate effort to explain and understand, it becomes easier to just take the blame.  And maybe some aren't even bad, but compared to the standards and beliefs we hold, they're perceived that way.  And so it goes, our self-esteem, self-worth. And the other side, the positive happenings? They are wonderful, and they keep us going, but eventually they're diminished by the overwhelming darker, more negative perceptions, a bad apple if you will, spoiling the bunch.

As powerful as these dynamics seem, there's a serious problem. They're not true. I'm a good person, no--check that, I'm a great person. And I am worthy of feeling good. I am worthy of my success.

I'm going to take care of me with the positive care and love I've always deserved but was too caught up in false negatives to fully recognize. I want it for others, so why not offer the same love and compassion for me to enjoy?

This is a new day. This is a new perception. This is happening like no other time I've ever known.

This is the moment when "I'm Choosing Change" becomes even more powerful.  And it does because it's uninhibited by the deep seeded belief of unworthiness.

Let's do this.

Thank you for reading,
Goodnight and...
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, January 18, 2013

The Excitement In Doing

The Excitement In Doing

There's an excitement in my step and it's one I recognize from the early days of my weight loss success.  I'll be weighing again in a little over a week and every two weeks after and I know, without doubt, I'll find results.  I've been straight up walkin' it.  I've been doing.

And when we're doing, and we're being true to ourselves along this road, there's an alignment of joy that comes over us like no other.  This is what we're looking for.  This is what it's been about.  This is the road to where we want to go.

The other day on my facebook page I posted a "micro-blog" that generated a couple of questions--and I'd like to answers those...

The post:

"At my heaviest, I often asked an endless amount of questions “in search” of the answers I wanted about weight loss. And asking questions is a good thing. Often though, I would keep asking—collecting answers until I heard what I wanted to hear. There comes a time when the questions have been asked and answered, the advice given and received—and there's never a shortage when it comes to this exchange. But there comes a time when we must simply start doing. Simplifying our approach and simply doing what we already know—then occasionally reaching back and incorporating nuggets of advice we've collected along the way, is, in my experience—the way. There comes a time. And it's here. The time is now."

Questions: 
 
Peggy: "You got that right keep it coming because I need all the info I can get. Doc say stop eating this and that and it is not working. How about you? Any answer to that as well?  Hope to hear from you."

Peggy--There's no shortage of advise, of course.  Often, we're told exactly what would be an optimal diet.  We're told lean meats, vegetables, fruits and whole grains--or whatever.  We're given a menu of what would be this ideal consumption list.  And we're given another list of everything we should avoid--and of course it's three times as long.  First of all--The doctor is right in an ideal or "perfect" sense.  I don't know about you, but I'm not perfect.  I'm sure, in the "do and do not" foods listed, he's spot on.  What isn't addressed in this approach is what we've been doing, who we are and what it will take to get us there.  An all or nothing approach might work for some--a drastic cleaning of the cupboards and fridge---and an immediate shift to only what would be considered ideal.  For me, an approach like that would have been going to bed and expecting to wake up a completely different person.  And I might have been able to keep up the charade for a while--but eventually, I would return to my natural inclinations--my familiar territory.  This is why I'm a big proponent of changing the focus from this "ideal" list of foods--and putting it on a gradual evolution of good choices.  Doing--is setting a limit and sticking to it.  Holding a calorie limit sacred--making it the most important goal everyday...and allowing room in your food selection to naturally evolve as you go.  The focus is less about what you're eating and more about the mental dynamics keeping you honest and within the bounds you've set.  First of all--You'll naturally start making better choices simply because you're wanting to get the most value, food, for your available calories.  Secondly--By allowing yourself a natural evolution of good choices, you're eliminating the negative mental effects of "I messed up," when you eat something not on the "perfect" list.  You'll learn much about yourself along the way when you're taking the approach of portion control--eating what you like, but strictly adhering to a set budget.  Eventually you can arrive at a place where you're eating habits are drastically changed in a very natural, productive way.

Nicole: "Figuring out why we do this would be MONUMENTAL, would it not?" 

Nicole-- We do this because it postpones the moment where we take control once and for all.  As long as we convince ourselves we're ill prepared, without the answers we need--it alleviates the responsibility to take charge of ourselves.  And because we're ill prepared, we feel justified in delaying our transformation--it alleviates the feelings of guilt, because we're convinced it's not our fault--we're still a victim because we haven't received the answers we need.  We simply must do.  Enough with the seeking... The answers will come along the way.  And since we're doing, so will results.

I'm headed to Tulsa's Hard Rock Hotel for the Oklahoma Osteopath Association Winter Conference.  I'm a featured speaker Saturday morning.  The name and focus of the conference is "The Ravages of Obesity."  Indeed...yes indeed... It does ravage.  I can't wait to speak to a group very different than any other I've ever encountered: 350 doctors and medical professionals in a room. This will be good.

I'm happy to share my mom's wonderful success!  She, along with my aunt Kelli and her husband Tim are all doing well--on Day 6 of their journey.  They're all supporting one another and all three are experiencing success already.  It was pure joy to hear mom's voice last night as she was telling me how she had already lost 2 pounds... She's feeling the same excitement I talked about earlier.  She knows success is coming.  she's doing.  It's such a great feeling.

I look forward to sharing how this conference goes and what I've learned from the experience.  

I'll be facing "road decisions" with my food---navigating a Toby Keith's Bar and Grill for dinner tonight.  I'll be live tweeting that experience for sure.

I would love for you to follow me on Twitter-- @seanaanderson

More later, my friends...

My best always---thank you for reading, goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean   
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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

We Don't Need Any Stinkin' Blogging Rules

We Don't Need Any Stinkin' Blogging Rules

A return to daily posting is something I've resisted for some time.  And if you've followed this blog, you know I've done a stellar job resisting.  Why?  Oh, now--I could come up with a dozen excellent sounding excuses, all of which you could easily argue against, and you would most likely be right.

My biggest excuse (the one I used frequently) was the time commitment.  I once treated this blog like there was a rigid list of rules stating:

All Posts Must Be At Least 6,000 Words
Every Post Must Include Multi-Media Content
Each Post Requires a Minimum Time Commitment of 1.5 Hours

I enjoy the occasional "mega-post," I do indeed, (and I'll occasionally have the time and material to crank out one of these super-post) but since this isn't currently my full time job, I can't abide by these self-imposed imaginary rules any longer. Tony Posnanski is a brilliant example of quality over quantity.  I'm pretty sure he's written entire blog entries on his phone--in between sets in the weight room at his local gym. 

My most honest excuse (one I've rarely said--and usually to my therapist only--Yet, it's the most obvious) is this: When I'm not doing my best, when I'm struggling--I'm not as motivated to write.  It's as simple as that.  It doesn't mean I've struggled the entire time spent away from daily posting, after all--I stopped posting daily in August 2010, hit goal in November 2010 and maintained for nearly a year and a half before I started struggling again.  I credit my regular facebook "micro-blogs," for sure.  But the point is this: I give myself the greatest chance of success when I'm posting daily right here on The DAILY Diary of a Winning Loser.  The ups and downs, the struggles--the victories...That's what this blog is all about... a complete picture, an unvarnished example...The good, the bad and the awesome.

I woke up this morning feeling sick.  I didn't sleep well because of a tooth ache.  This issue had progressively worsened (as these things tend to do) and this morning it decided to grab and hold my attention.  I took some ibuprofin and decided to somehow make it through my radio show.  As I settled into the studio, so did the pain, for a little while at least.  As soon as I was off the air I started making calls for available appointments.  The second call I made had an opening at 1:30pm.  It wasn't my regular dentist, but it didn't matter. I needed out of pain as quickly as possible. And after a couple hours in the dentist office, I was out of pain--oh yes I was...and the right side of my face was completely numb.  I was drooling and I didn't even know it--that's how much I wasn't feeling any pain.  Obliviously drooling...it was great.

I was told not to chew on my right side and to only eat soft things, "like ice cream."  Yeah--they don't know me very well, do they? ;)

By the time I reached my apartment after 4pm, my calorie budget was sitting at a very low 350 calories--all from lunch and my morning coffee.  I had tortilla soup with four crackers and some cheese.  I rarely skip breakfast, but I did this morning because of the throbbing tooth pain.  I opened another can of soup this evening--added a few crackers and cheese on the side and cut up an apple--and still, I'm under 1,000 for the day.  Again, not typical--but circumstances took away my desire to eat.

I decided to rest after the dentist and at least have a walk before nights end.  I planned on a 5K...ended up only doing two laps for 1.75 miles.  Everything considered, I'm happy with today.  I'm also hungry.

But it's way too late to eat anything.  I'll have a good breakfast in the morning.

I'll leave you with this thought from my facebook micro-blog today:

"I've said it many times: “I know myself.” What we know is based on what we've experienced, the choices we've made—the patterns of the past. That is what we know. Do we know of what we are truly capable? Believing in ourselves requires faith in what we haven't known, an unwavering faith in our ability to choose change. It truly does not matter what we've done, where we are starting or what we know. Believe, and this time will be like nothing you've ever known." 

Thank you for reading, goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean 
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Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Let's Get This Thing To 88 Miles Per Hour

Let's Get This Thing To 88 Miles Per Hour

Here we are.  2014!

I'm in the best shape and health of my life.  What I've done in 2013 has elevated everything to another level.  I'm stronger than ever before.  I've lost fat and gained muscle. My clothes fit better than ever.  I'm rested, I feel incredible and the difference my commitment has made in every facet of my life, is astonishing.  I look in the mirror and I see the results of consistency. 

My list of spiritual, personal and business accomplishments--the ones I envisioned and wrote down on January 1st, 2013, and then posted them where I could see and read everyday---this visionary list is my reality today.  I'll show you a picture of it when we return to this date through the natural course of time.

I had tasted freedom before.  Now I'm feasting on it.

2013 was an amazing year.

Imagine. Envision. See. Believe. Commit. Accomplish. Repeat.

We are powerful people, my friends.

Okay--I must get back. I have a life to live!

Good Choices,
Sean
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