After years of saying things like, "I need to start lifting weights," or "the next thing for me must be a committed weight training routine," I finally took a step in that direction meeting with a trainer tonight and by agreeing to start with a her guidance on Wednesday the 11th at 6pm. It will be my first session. There's the accountability factor. The trainer will be there at 6pm. I must be there.
I've had a fear of weight training. Hang-ups about it, powerful ones dating back to childhood. I've written about these before. It's time to let it go. (cue inspirational song from Frozen soundtrack)
Seriously--all of my apprehension is based on contempt without investigation. This is the opposite of having an open mind. And since I do have an open mind about most everything else, it's time to explore--time to investigate. It's time to have faith.
They say, "it'll be great--you'll get stronger--your weaker right arm will grow and catch up to your stronger left arm--you might end up loving it!" Okay, I'm going to suspend disbelief and truly give it an honest go. I plan on taking before pictures. I plan on getting excited about this part of my transformation. It's important to me. It really is. I know I haven't made it important, but it doesn't mean I don't recognize its importance.
It's like before I committed to being abstinent from refined sugar. I struggled with the mere thought. People who had years of abstinence would say things like, "it'll be great, you'll likely feel some peace and clarity--it may very well put a stop to the urges to binge--it will give you a more stable foundation on which to build your food plan--the one you plan on having for life--you'll notice a profound difference in a very short time." You know what happened with this story. I did give it an honest go and now, I'm quickly approaching 600 days abstinence. And it's, without question, the best nutritional decision I've ever made. AND--It's one of the best recovery decisions I've made.
I hope to say the same kind of things about weight training.
The trainer warned me, "you're going to gain weight, but it'll be muscle." I'm completely okay with this truth. Will I need a support buddy to remind me of that when I weigh in and find gains? Sure I will. I'm human! I'm honestly getting excited about making the commitment. This is a positive thing.
I never did donate those size 32 Lucky Jeans I mentioned a long time ago. They were found in a gift box from a fellow blogger. He generously sent me his old jeans several years ago. Several pair, mostly 38's and 36's at the time...and one lonely pair of size 32 Lucky Brand jeans. I held them up and thought--this must have been a mistake!! I'll never, ever in a million years fit into size 32's.
I've tried them on at various points along the way and every time, it confirmed my belief...these will never ever fit in a million years of trying.
Just for giggles--and prompted by my baggy size 36 jeans---and because I'll be buying another pair of jeans in the coming days with birthday money gifted by a friend for this specific purpose--I tried them, again.
Oh, wow. I couldn't believe it!!! I pulled them up over my behind and was astonished at how close the button was to the middle. It was a stretch, still--but then I thought... Hey, I'll do the whole lying down and buttoning them, trick. And it worked! They fit like a glove in every place except around my midsection--and these jeans only had trouble there because of loose skin in that area. There's no way I'm wearing them because they're way too tight and I'd rather be comfortable, but still---they buttoned!!!! Size 32!!!!???!!! Are you kidding me??? Sean Anderson in size 32 jeans?? That's crazy.
It convinced me to move from 36 to size 34's. And tomorrow or Friday, when I shop for this new pair of birthday gift jeans, I'll be trying on size 34's instead of 36's and I'll see if it works well.
From The Comments Section:
Robin recently asked a couple of great questions:
"I think you're amazing and you know that by my comments. Ok so here's the question, when you're just the normal lean guy to the world around, and that will happen, then what? Right now you're bombarded with compliments, which you should be, but when it becomes normal and all this dies down how do you transition? I'm not being a smartass by asking this I'm truly curious if this will be an issue. My other question is you eat a lot of fruit which contains a lot of sugar, yes it's considered natural but it's still sugar, isn't it?"
Robin, I appreciate your comments. Great questions.
I don't live for or do what I do, for compliments. I appreciate them, and I graciously accept them (it's taken a lot of internal work to handle some) but compliments don't affect me like they might have after my initial weight loss.
I've had a lot of time to grow and develop. The difference now is, I'm more confident in who I am as a person than ever before--in other words, if I never receive another compliment, I'm still fine--and the same as I am, right now.
What others say about me, good or bad, is a reflection of them, not me.
In this embrace of my truest self--- gaining weight doesn't make me worse of a person and losing weight or maintaining doesn't make me a better person. I embrace the core elements of me--the same ones I possessed at my heaviest are still a major part of me today.
Compliments feel good, of course-- but they don't affect the core elements of me. Does that make sense?
The fruit sugar thing--
I'm lucky to not have blood sugar issues. If I did, I would need to be very careful with the amount of fruit I consume. You're right--it's fruit sugar...but natural sugar is fine. The abstinence is from refined sugar. The sugar found naturally in fruits and veggies doesn't create the biochemical reactions of refined sugar.
Discovering the difference between natural sugar found in fruit and refined sugar, was a big help in my embrace of abstinence. People like Gerri Helms (22 years abstinence) and Phil Werdell (28 years abstinence) of foodaddiction.com helped me understand this difference.
Again--thank you, Robin for your loyal readership and comments!
Today was solid. I prepared some awesome food, finally met with a trainer, enjoyed some good support interactions, rocked a fantastic workout and hit every goal I had for today. I hope to do the same again tomorrow!
The tweets can take it the rest of the way----
My Tweets Today:
Big mug. Dark roast w/3 tablespoons half & half. 2 tblspns for second, smaller cup. Good morning! 100 cal. pic.twitter.com/2xyODWLheg— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/qQIcyaAQto— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
My favorite breakfast! Omelet w/3 egg whts-1 whl, 126g avocado w/salt&pepper, 6.4oz pear, 168g apple. 512cal pic.twitter.com/RwrebjjkQG— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/U4G3EaSA5B— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
FF/SF Bean & Cheese tostadas w/130g beans, salsa, 42g marble jack. 152g apple & 16g natural peanut butter. 539 cal. pic.twitter.com/HVGfMWiFfA— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
Afternoon cup of dark roast with two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/OFnPTVDPAk— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
4.1oz banana with 32g (2 tblspns) natural peanut butter. 276 cal. pic.twitter.com/seYnCRGeqf— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 4, 2015
Time to climb aboard the magical elliptical ride. I'm set for takeoff! 2 cups water. #wateracountability #watergoal pic.twitter.com/3UtVpRK4z9— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 5, 2015
Level 20-30min. #feelsgreat #excellentcardio #endorphinrelease #needshowernow pic.twitter.com/HUxfNyOFZx— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 5, 2015
So glad I got mine for 99cents a pound last night! Totally expected this increase! pic.twitter.com/5WpmM0WmU4— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 5, 2015
Just a quick trip... pic.twitter.com/lAFkStoax1— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 5, 2015
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/bytUL5IwJK— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 5, 2015
5.6oz sirloin, 274g red potatoes w/ 28g cheddar-jack & 30g sr crm, grilled asparagus, grilled zucchini. 665 cal. pic.twitter.com/i80XKrzqYj— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 5, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,