Sunday, November 29, 2015

November 29th, 2015 I'm Going To Be Okay

November 29th, 2015 I'm Going To Be Okay

Mom and I visited with my aunt and uncle from Michigan this afternoon/evening. It was a very nice visit. These are loved ones we would only see for a week or two every year, all of my years growing up. And as my weight became a bigger and bigger concern for me and those close to me, I remember them expressing worry. Always wanting to put a big nice bow on everything--even if it turned out to be an empty box, I would end their annual visits with the proclamation, "next year you won't even recognize me." And every year after, I would be as big or bigger. And at the end of their next visit, I would say the same thing.

I'm not sure if I'm capable of expressing how good it feels to walk into the room at my healthiest weight, have a good visit and reminisce about those days so long ago. It's not about seeking approval or reveling in the "look at yous" and the "wow, you look great" type compliments. I'm more secure in my skin than any other time in my life. I no longer need those to feel good about myself. This turnaround from relapse/regain has provided so many gifts in perspective. The relapse/regain experience itself was a gift.

But--this feeling...how can I put it?

It's more about knowing that this dream--this monumental thing that seemed so impossible for so very long-- wasn't and isn't impossible. There's a peace and calm in my recovery and although never guaranteed, there's still a certainty that, if I continue this warm embrace of me, I'm going to be okay.

I declared today a rest day. That wasn't the plan. I allowed the time to get away from me. I indulged in the visit. It was worth the time. I had a great cardio/weight training workout yesterday and I'll have another workout tomorrow.

I prepared some really good food today and enjoyed an early dinner out with everyone at the place mom and I frequent.

I'm hitting the pillow feeling great about a solid Thanksgiving weekend. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I'm blessed beyond measure. And grateful. Very grateful.

My Tweets Today:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

2 comments:

  1. The food you prepare always looks delicious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Sean,
    It is so nice to hear that success is possible and of the calm feeling you have. For me, it is still just a dream. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well and had a great visit with family.

    Tammy

    ReplyDelete

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