Mom and I visited with my aunt and uncle from Michigan this afternoon/evening. It was a very nice visit. These are loved ones we would only see for a week or two every year, all of my years growing up. And as my weight became a bigger and bigger concern for me and those close to me, I remember them expressing worry. Always wanting to put a big nice bow on everything--even if it turned out to be an empty box, I would end their annual visits with the proclamation, "next year you won't even recognize me." And every year after, I would be as big or bigger. And at the end of their next visit, I would say the same thing.
I'm not sure if I'm capable of expressing how good it feels to walk into the room at my healthiest weight, have a good visit and reminisce about those days so long ago. It's not about seeking approval or reveling in the "look at yous" and the "wow, you look great" type compliments. I'm more secure in my skin than any other time in my life. I no longer need those to feel good about myself. This turnaround from relapse/regain has provided so many gifts in perspective. The relapse/regain experience itself was a gift.
But--this feeling...how can I put it?
It's more about knowing that this dream--this monumental thing that seemed so impossible for so very long-- wasn't and isn't impossible. There's a peace and calm in my recovery and although never guaranteed, there's still a certainty that, if I continue this warm embrace of me, I'm going to be okay.
I declared today a rest day. That wasn't the plan. I allowed the time to get away from me. I indulged in the visit. It was worth the time. I had a great cardio/weight training workout yesterday and I'll have another workout tomorrow.
I prepared some really good food today and enjoyed an early dinner out with everyone at the place mom and I frequent.
I'm hitting the pillow feeling great about a solid Thanksgiving weekend. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I'm blessed beyond measure. And grateful. Very grateful.
My Tweets Today:
Good morning! Sunday morning dark roast with two tablespoons half & half X 2 cups. 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/yOLMzPRo1E— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/F1D9u7vwNJ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
5oz baked salmon, cheese omelet w/2 egg whts-1 whl egg & 1 slice provolone, 6.9oz pear & 170g apple. 659 cal. pic.twitter.com/I6OmcZdHHs— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Afternoon cup of coffee with lunch. 2 tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/4k4YaXjKLy— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/vO7xNq69CY— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Peanut Butter (48g-natural) & Banana (1.9oz) with simply fruit sf strawberry spread (19g) on Ezekiel bread. 545 cal. pic.twitter.com/UlN1sak5Dv— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
12 chips with fresh chunky salsa. 175 cal. pic.twitter.com/aFvxJlj8Tk— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/EDSgEZemrC— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Crispy fajita chicken tacos w/8oz chicken, 3 tblspns sour cream, lettuce & approx. 14g cheddar-jack. 573 cal. pic.twitter.com/R13WW6ev7c— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 29, 2015
Coffee while visiting with family at mom's place. Nice. With 2 tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/v6x2yh3L9g— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,