Monday, November 2, 2015

November 2nd, 2015 The Circumstance of Current Thoughts and Emotions

November 2nd, 2015 The Circumstance of Current Thoughts and Emotions

I took 3/4 of a personal day off from work today. It was necessary. I did go in for a little while this afternoon before heading to the store for a few things and then onto the Monday night conference call support group.

I'm incredibly excited about this ten week session. We have two open spots in the Tuesday night 8pm Eastern/5pm Pacific group. If you're interested, regular registration is closed--but I can get you in if you send me an email with your request to join.
Monday night is full!

I've learned how to navigate schedule changes and be okay. For me it goes back to my parallel streams philosophy: My Life Stream in the foreground and the Fundamental Elements Stream running in the background like a computer anti-virus program. 

Even still, an interruption in schedule requires me to be extra aware. I felt the need for increased awareness the first half of the day. I felt tilted. Like something wasn't right. I did two things in those moments--I sent a text to a support buddy describing this off-center feeling. This action immediately makes me feel better because suddenly I'm not alone in the circumstance of current thoughts and emotions. I have a team and I can bring them into this! And they don't mind, because I do the same for them when the need arises. And I embraced my fundamental elements a little tighter while the wind blew the hardest. I knew it would subside and the storm would pass. It did.

The second half was fueled by more fantastic support interactions, this time with me on the receiving end, then the group call, an amazing dinner and a fabulous workout.

This Monday ended up being nicely balanced after a seriously tilted start. That's a fantastic thing.

My continued recovery, maintenance and success isn't guaranteed. I understand this in a profound way because of my experiences with relapse/regain. I learn from watching others who have 5, 10, 20 and nearly 30 years of maintenance behind them. They have days that start like mine did today, too. Occasionally, we all do. And I know, without question, this is how they would have maneuvered their circumstance of current thoughts and emotions.

There's a popular phrase in recovery circles, "If you want what I got, you must be willing to do what I do." Part of my success in this turnaround from relapse/regain has been admitting that I do not "got this," or have anything "figured out." All I have is today, right now and my next good choice. That's truth. And releasing the "I got this" mentality is important, because with it--it erodes the need for anyone or anything. If "I got this" then why would I bother with most of my fundamental elements?

I proudly don't "got this." And my Fundamental Elements Stream will continue flowing a current directly under my Life Stream. One of my goals each day is to keep those streams in their own lane.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,


  1. I think you're amazing and you know that by my comments. Ok so here's the question, when you're just the normal lean guy to the world around, and that will happen, then what? Right now you're bombarded with compliments, which you should be, but when it becomes normal and all this dies down how do you transition? I'm not being a smartass by asking this I'm truly curious if this will be an issue. My other question is you eat a lot of fruit which contains a lot of sugar, yes it's considered natural but it's still sugar, isn't it?

    1. Robin, I appreciate your comments. Great questions.
      I don't live for or do what I do, for compliments. I appreciate them, and I graciously accept them (it's taken a lot of internal work to handle some) but compliments don't affect me like they might have after my initial weight loss.
      I've had a lot of time to grow and develop. The difference now is, I'm more confident in who I am as a person than ever before--in other words, if I never receive another compliment, I'm still fine--and the same as I am, right now.
      What others say about me, good or bad, is a reflection of them, not me.
      In this embrace of my truest self--- gaining weight doesn't make me worse of a person and losing weight or maintaining doesn't make me a better person. I embrace the core elements of me--the same ones I possessed at my heaviest are still a major part of me today.
      Compliments feel good, of course-- but they don't affect the core elements of me. Does that make sense?
      The fruit sugar thing--
      I'm lucky to not have blood sugar issues. If I did, I would need to be very careful with the amount of fruit I consume.
      You're right--it's fruit sugar...but natural sugar is fine. The abstinence is from refined sugar.
      The sugar found naturally in fruits and veggies doesn't create the biochemical reactions of refined sugar.
      Discovering the difference between natural sugar found in fruit and refined sugar, was a big help in my embrace of abstinence. People like Gerri Helms (22 years abstinence) and Phil Werdell (28 years abstinence) of helped me understand this difference.
      Again--thank you, Robin for your loyal readership and comments!

    2. Thanks for replying. It makes a lot of sense what you have to say.

    3. Thanks for replying. It makes a lot of sense what you have to say.

  2. I am totally envious of your support network~ you seem to have support at all turns! Love it!

  3. Can you say more about needing to take a day off? Were you in a bad mood, or feeling depressed? Did something specific happen (not asking for personal details)? Did you take the time because you needed to give yourself just a little bit more extraordinary care? The reason I ask is that I think it's helpful (for me at least) to hear what a trigger/bad mood might be, and how you pulled yourself out of it (even if it's just that you asked your friends for a helping hand). I, myself, had a crummy day yesterday, and it was all I could do not to stay inside and hide. I eventually got up, showered and got myself to school-- but it wasn't pretty. Any advice you have on this (or just anything that works for you) would be appreciated.

  4. I am also envious of your support network. I have tried to form a group of support network friends these past couple of years and for various reasons they have failed, unless his name is Sean Anderson, witch I am very lucky for &internally grateful for. My list of other support buddies, often started out good but never materialized or developed for various reasons.

    I doing so well this past week, down 10 pounds, approaching a new low, knowing that having a 2nd support person would be very helpful, dealing with the minor issues this weight loss transformation. Understanding how how much social media you have to deal, Having another support person I can count on would be a huge plus and looking forward to that future connection. Thank for you being that great support buddy I can count on!

  5. Awareness is key. The first thing I do when something is very wrong is reach out to my my no BS support team. I know if I tell them I will not eat over the massive problem (death, big trigger) I know they will call me on my shenanigans.

    Being tough not moderate requires a support team that recognizes tough is not mean or that will not dole out sugar coating or head pats.

    Good work. I appreciate Robin's comments about the fruit. Genetics can play a huge role on fruit intake. 3 great blood markers that helped me realize I had to abstain from fruit were fasting glucose, 2 hour post meal glucose, and HA1c- Hemoglobin A1C. All my blood work indicated that I was indeed becoming a type 2 diabetic, even at normal weight eating fruit. Once I got my genetic report and saw my risks, I limit fruit to occasional berries, with good glucose out comes, but only under strict management.

    I also use glucose normal ranges from those type 2 diabetics who have put their disease in long term remission by their food template. The ADA guidelines are too wide for me. I'm a Med Tech in real life, so I can access glucose MD's every day if I want. I'm very lucky my company monitors, that I chose to monitor at home, and I have a strong water cooler support team.

    Food Addiction . com is a great resource. Glad you are mentioning it. Great discussion in comments.


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