The times I feel most vulnerable aren't necessarily the times of greatest challenge. The most challenging times are the ones where I choose to go it alone. Developing a strong support system is critically important. What is a "support system?" For many of us, it starts spiritually. Aside from that very personal part of our support, a support system is made up of people who understand, and maybe they're further along or perhaps just getting started--doesn't matter. Maybe their individual circumstance is night and day different from ours--doesn't matter. They "get it." They get those elements we have in common--the familiar elements so many who have had an unhealthy relationship with food would immediately recognize. And they're a text, call, email or messenger away--and the support we seek, we do our best to return in equal measure, and no longer do we feel alone.
When I engage with support, the most challenging of circumstances somehow become more manageable. If I turn away from support, even the minor challenges seem monumental. If I'm fixed on a particular perspective, good support can lend me their vision--and that alternate view helps shift my perspective.
The last month, maybe month and a half, has really tested me in every way. Or has it been two months, or more? I don't know--doesn't matter--all I know is, if not for solid support connections I would have faded away. Fading away always starts with isolating--resisting support, rebelling against the extraordinary care we need to live--believing the lie that the elements of that rebellion will somehow make things better, or easier--and the deeper we withdraw, the further apart we feel--and at some point we don't want support anymore, or we don't think we do--because now we're in too deep. The fade away, like a powerful magnet, pulls us in a familiar direction. There's comfort in familiar. It might even seem like it feels better--like, what a relief!!! But it doesn't take long until we pass the point of realizing it's not helping--and we're straight into the self-loathing--uncompassionate brutality of self--and then, after relentlessly beating ourselves up--we start feeling unworthy of support. Then, often--we engage in a series of starts and stops--trying to get it together--going it alone...as if we're saying, "I got myself into this mess, I'll pull myself out--and then I'll reconnect with support..." Don't wait. Don't fade away.
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I met my daily water goal and I stayed connected with great support.
Enough rambling from me. What can I say? I felt the need to express my experience.
I wasn't able to get production complete this evening on episode 4 of Transformation Planet. It'll come tomorrow evening. I mention this just in case you were wondering--after I gleefully mentioned it in last night's post.
Today's Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
#morningdeal is in the books! 2 cups water, 20 push-ups & 20 squats✔️✔️✔️ It's coffee time. pic.twitter.com/hRgM5MBdKd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Good Tuesday morning! Three tablespoons half & half in this first cup of dark roast. Another with same, soon, to-go. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/fW5ocbEwIj— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Breakfast in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/PFXKzvmd7c— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
2 whl eggs-2 whites w/104g avocado, Ezekiel toast w/.5oz cream cheese & 18g refined sugar-free strawberry all-fruit. 7.9oz apple. 601 cal. pic.twitter.com/Ah2ptyEh5c— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Two tablespoons half & half in the midday dark roast, 5.3oz orange and 6.2oz banana. 209 cal. pic.twitter.com/j49trYhpLI— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
One more. Two tablespoons half & half in this dark roast. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/vyUGUugUTe— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Lunch in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/FAkKI73xc0— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Three fajita steak & sour cream crispy tacos w/6oz fajita steak, 3 tbs sour cream, lettuce & 14g shredded white cheddar. 570 cal. pic.twitter.com/Svz9vqIwcp— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Two tablespoons half & half in this cup from earlier...about an hour ago, actually. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/Eq1q7g10in— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 11, 2016
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/BqsOllOrsJ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 12, 2016
7.5oz grilled cod, 78g (dry-1.5srv) long grain&wild rice, 48g red pepper, 52g yellow pepper&62g grilled red onion. 120g green beans. 531 cal pic.twitter.com/cSiyUPPQTI— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 12, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,